What if I dared to breathe, have courage, fail learn fly... What if I dared to delve deeper, digging into earth enriched by memories, experiences, ideas, digging to know, to see where my flowers and thorns grow from... What if I dared to lean into the shames, pulling aside the vines of fears, stepping over rotting logs of guilt, an explorer into myself, curious and keen to see things never seen or old things anew... What if I then recorded my findings in my explorer's notebook, observing and sketching, returning home a new person, subtly changed, always me...
Crafted in response to a prompt by in SoulCircle.
What is beginning?
On a slow Sunday morning, cuppa in hand, I struggled to answer the question ‘What is this the beginning of, for you?’1
Is this writing journey the start of the book living in my head for 2 decades? Is it that simple? Perhaps I started on the journey for that reason, determined to breathe life into it. But it doesn’t feel true anymore.
An image popped into my head, as they often do. A door standing slightly ajar, light and sound and joy pouring out. I push it open and beyond, a room full of people. Not too noisy, not overwhelming. I feel right. I feel at home. A room of people who get me. Who see me and hear me and who I connect with via my words. People who I may never know and yet, we connect on an emotional level, on a level beyond mere words.
Perhaps it’s the beginning of learning that this is where I belong. Alone but together, a phrase often repeated in Writer’s Hour with
and by Beth. Writing needs space, solitude, but it needn’t be lonely.I know that now.
Hey friend, thanks for reading my little note this week. What do you think of the smaller notes? It’s actually more of a challenge for me to write less (who’d have thought?…), so I’ll keep trying them out for a while longer, but I’d love to know your thoughts.
My plan, after the support you all gave on last week’s post (thank you, by the way, that was just what the doctor ordered!), is to send short notes like this one each week, but then round the month out with a longer letter, an ‘essay’ of some sort. I hope this helps me to continue writing and sending notes each week when I go back to school in September. Let’s see how it goes.
As ever, thank you for your time and your connection. It is endlessly precious to me.
Have a truly beautiful week.
K x
Hi there! I’m Karen, and here at On the Outside I write about navigating life with my compass of curiosity, courage and connection, going via adventure and healing. I live amongst the south Welsh mountains, with a hoard of books, a garden full of foxgloves and goldfinches, drinking tea. Basically, a hobbit. Wandering, not lost.
Subscribe to join me on this journey through the truth and beauty of the uncertain and the unknown. With tea.
Or you can throw me a tip here (I already know not to eat yellow snow).
A prompt from Beth’s SoulCircle.
I hear you and feel the connection 🙏
"returning home a new person, subtly changed, always me... " I love this line so much!! Each day, each experience that brings newness to who we are, yet you are always you along the way because you get to decide how what you experienced impacted you.