This is SO beautifully written. As someone whose entire Substack is about searching for "enough" your thoughts hit spot on. I also think about the idea of belonging is more about an internal compass, whereas external validation (or whatever you want to call it), is more about you feel welcome somewhere. Not sure why that shift in wording helps me so much, but it does.
Thank you! I’m grateful for Mika connecting us and can’t wait to read your sub.
I feel that, absolutely. There is so much of belonging that isn’t about other people at all, and entirely about our own sense of self. Fascinating topic. I adore Brene Brown’s work on it and continually refer to her books, as reminders, to redirect me.
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts ♥️
Thank goodness for writing and reading other's writing to help us understand ourselves better. Thank you for sharing this piece of you, you are not alone. 💕
🥰 you are quite right - I no longer feel alone, here in this community. It’s that weird moment of realising other people have the same fears and doubts and we’re better able to get over them together. Amazing.
🥰 thank you! Thank you for sharing them too. It's funny, I hadn't quite realised the connection between knowing why I write and the fear of not being good enough. I genuinely mean that I write to discover who I am. Through writing, I realised that connection. It's probably obvious from the outside, but that was like a ringing bell in my head when I wrote it in my journal. How had I not seen that before? 😂
It is the post that made me fully realise how writing is medicine.
Mindful self-realisation and awareness are potent medicines if you're as curious and courageous as you are.
This is my favourite quote: 'Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Viktor E. Frankl from 'Mans Search for Meaning' One of 2 books I recommend to everyone.
I love how you put that, mindful self-realisation. That's beautiful.
It's funny, I know that quote so well, and I've had the book for probably almost 20 years, but still have never read it! I'm curious, what's the other book?
Emotional Agility by Susan David - I’ve gone into a LOT of her work in Carer Mentor. These 2 books are position 1 and 2 together on my annual Top 10 reading list, since I read them. Something different is revealed each time, because of course we evolve.
Oh snap! I have that one too! I feel we'd have much to share over a cuppa 😂 I used a lot of the principles when navigating grief after my dad passing, and very much believe in the principles of it.
🩷 I'll get my largest mug out! With custard creams and bourbons, or the good shortbread ;-) Susan David's microskills course is good...all the themes we know, with more metaphors, examples and downloadable resources. It's meant for companies but I just put myself through as the 1 employee of my own company - which I am! https://www.susandavid.com/courses/
I have found such a sense of belonging since I started writing on here. Something about coming back to writing made me feel like I was coming back to the essence of who I was.
I completely agree - there's something so good about being here, and having something to write for too. It definitely changes things, but in a lovely, good way.
Beautifully written, Karen. Writing is a way to find who we are, and what you said about that resonates a lot with me. Also what you wrote about finding home, belonging..So much goodness in this post. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
I really felt so touched my your words here. All of it… on the journey of belonging, on what home is (how is shapes and is shaped), on writing as medicine. Thank you for your words xx
Thank you so much for commenting and saying such lovely things! 🥰 I loved seeing how all these things weave together, life can be so complex and so simple at the same time. x
I tell you what this road to feeling deserving is a long one. What I have found fascinating recently is when what we wish for arrives, because we do deserve it, if we still hold the belief of worthiness we can miss the opportunity and retreat and stay on our comfort zone. Courage is still required to claim what we deserve and that can sometimes be such a big thing. Thank you for this Karen!xx
It absolutely is! Long and really rough in some place. I completely agree - it can be hard to change the narrative in our heads. The whole ‘being good enough’ narrative is probably the strongest theme running through my life, the biggest fear I have. I can trace almost every behaviour back to it! So it’s nice, over recent years, to see it finally starting to shift, to know that, just because it’s in my head, it doesn’t make it true.
Thank you so much for commenting, I’m glad we connected! x
This is SO beautifully written. As someone whose entire Substack is about searching for "enough" your thoughts hit spot on. I also think about the idea of belonging is more about an internal compass, whereas external validation (or whatever you want to call it), is more about you feel welcome somewhere. Not sure why that shift in wording helps me so much, but it does.
Thank you! I’m grateful for Mika connecting us and can’t wait to read your sub.
I feel that, absolutely. There is so much of belonging that isn’t about other people at all, and entirely about our own sense of self. Fascinating topic. I adore Brene Brown’s work on it and continually refer to her books, as reminders, to redirect me.
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts ♥️
Thank goodness for writing and reading other's writing to help us understand ourselves better. Thank you for sharing this piece of you, you are not alone. 💕
🥰 you are quite right - I no longer feel alone, here in this community. It’s that weird moment of realising other people have the same fears and doubts and we’re better able to get over them together. Amazing.
This! This right here -
“I write to discover who I am, and so I write to heal.
In this, I belong. I am good enough. I am home.”
This is beautiful Karen! I resonate so deeply with what you shared.
🥰 thank you! Thank you for sharing them too. It's funny, I hadn't quite realised the connection between knowing why I write and the fear of not being good enough. I genuinely mean that I write to discover who I am. Through writing, I realised that connection. It's probably obvious from the outside, but that was like a ringing bell in my head when I wrote it in my journal. How had I not seen that before? 😂
It is the post that made me fully realise how writing is medicine.
This is a beautiful reflection piece, Karen.
Mindful self-realisation and awareness are potent medicines if you're as curious and courageous as you are.
This is my favourite quote: 'Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Viktor E. Frankl from 'Mans Search for Meaning' One of 2 books I recommend to everyone.
Oh thank you ☺️
I love how you put that, mindful self-realisation. That's beautiful.
It's funny, I know that quote so well, and I've had the book for probably almost 20 years, but still have never read it! I'm curious, what's the other book?
Emotional Agility by Susan David - I’ve gone into a LOT of her work in Carer Mentor. These 2 books are position 1 and 2 together on my annual Top 10 reading list, since I read them. Something different is revealed each time, because of course we evolve.
Oh snap! I have that one too! I feel we'd have much to share over a cuppa 😂 I used a lot of the principles when navigating grief after my dad passing, and very much believe in the principles of it.
🩷 I'll get my largest mug out! With custard creams and bourbons, or the good shortbread ;-) Susan David's microskills course is good...all the themes we know, with more metaphors, examples and downloadable resources. It's meant for companies but I just put myself through as the 1 employee of my own company - which I am! https://www.susandavid.com/courses/
Custard creams and bourbons, now you're talking! Or shortbread, that always goes down well!
Oh I'll check that out! That sounds good.
Beautifully expressed.
I have found such a sense of belonging since I started writing on here. Something about coming back to writing made me feel like I was coming back to the essence of who I was.
I completely agree - there's something so good about being here, and having something to write for too. It definitely changes things, but in a lovely, good way.
Here to cheer you on as you wander through your truth, Karen! 💞
Thank you! It’s always nicer amongst friends and people who get it 🥰🥰
Beautifully written, Karen. Writing is a way to find who we are, and what you said about that resonates a lot with me. Also what you wrote about finding home, belonging..So much goodness in this post. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
🥰 thank you. I was surprised at how clearly I felt this idea of figuring out who I am. It’s so obvious and yet I’ve only just worked it out!
I really felt so touched my your words here. All of it… on the journey of belonging, on what home is (how is shapes and is shaped), on writing as medicine. Thank you for your words xx
Thank you so much for commenting and saying such lovely things! 🥰 I loved seeing how all these things weave together, life can be so complex and so simple at the same time. x
I tell you what this road to feeling deserving is a long one. What I have found fascinating recently is when what we wish for arrives, because we do deserve it, if we still hold the belief of worthiness we can miss the opportunity and retreat and stay on our comfort zone. Courage is still required to claim what we deserve and that can sometimes be such a big thing. Thank you for this Karen!xx
It absolutely is! Long and really rough in some place. I completely agree - it can be hard to change the narrative in our heads. The whole ‘being good enough’ narrative is probably the strongest theme running through my life, the biggest fear I have. I can trace almost every behaviour back to it! So it’s nice, over recent years, to see it finally starting to shift, to know that, just because it’s in my head, it doesn’t make it true.
Thank you so much for commenting, I’m glad we connected! x